Not so long ago, looking for a hook up meant a long night out at a bar (or several), spending time scoping out potential candidates and shelling out money for drinks in hopes of getting a woman to come back to your place once you won her over.
But thanks to social media and dating apps and date hookup sites
, it’s possible to cover way more ground when you want to get lucky, turning up more potential hook up partners than you could ever hope to meet during just one night out.
The downfall, of course, is that navigating the digital hookup scene comes with it’s challenges as well — it’s not as simple as shooting out a quick one-liner to a new match on your app. Not to mention, do you really want to invite someone you’ve never met over to your place? But at the same time, you don’t want to give off the impression that you’re looking for someone to date by asking her out for a drink beforehand.
And of course, once you figure all of that out, there’s still the issue of what to do after the two of you have done the deed. Should you be in touch with her if you want to continue hooking up? How often should you be texting her to keep her as a hook up but not make her think it’s anything more than that? If she gets in touch with you and you don’t want to see her again, how do you let her down? To answer all of these questions and more, we asked a few ladies for their insights into the world of hook up etiquette — and they had a lot to say on the topic. From the right way to facilitate a booty call to how to make it known that you’re not looking for anything serious on your dating profile without looking like a complete douchebag, here are a few new rules for hooking up.
1. Be Courteous About Your “U Up” Texts
“I have no problem being someone’s hook up if you respect my time,” says Gabrielle, 27. “Texting me at 2 a.m. with a ‘u up’ text message doesn’t do that. I’m not saying that you need to plan a hook up out a week in advance, but if you want to get laid it’d behoove you to know the girl’s schedule, including where she lives and what hours she works, and facilitate it ahead of time so that you’re catching her when she’s either able to have you over, or is able to realistically get to your area. I’m sure as hell not dragging my ass out of bed at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday night because you’re horny and you remembered I exist.”
2. Don’t Actually Use The Phrase “Netflix And Chill”
“We get what you mean but it’s so outplayed and honestly makes you look like a nerd,” says Laura, 23. “I like it when a guy makes his intentions known, whether it’s on an app or by sliding up in my DMs — no woman wants a cheesy Netflix and chill request that you put no effort into.”
3. Be A Gentleman Even Though It’s Just A Hookup
“Just because things are strictly business doesn’t give you the right to treat your hook up like a piece of shit,” says Kayla, 25. “If we’re doing it at your place and it’s late at night, either offer to let me stay or Uber me home. It’s not going to make us catch feelings, it’s going to make us feel safe — and it’s definitely going to make us more likely to do it again the next time you hit us up.”